The Guest Book is a place you can write anything you want. Ask questions. Tell stories. Chat to each other. Eventually we’ll generate a big scroll of rants and banter and dreams. It’ll be like a 21st century On The Road except with more references to Igglepiggle.
I’ll get us started…
I loathe those boring plastic playground dolphin toys which rock slightly on their coiled swings. Playgrounds should be exciting and magical. A playground should injure at least one child each year, or it’s not doing its job. Some playgrounds pose a subtler threat: they spread boredom. I loathe seesaws which don’t seesaw. There’s only one game to play on a seesaw, and that’s the one where you lift your legs, and bounce on the tire. If you do it well, you can catapult your brother into the air. Of course it’s dangerous. That’s the point. He will feel like he’s riding a bucking bull. I loathe swings which have chains only 8 feet long. The best swings in London are in Hackney Downs. The chains are 18 feet long, the swings soar through the air, and children feel like they’re flying. These marvellous toys are some of the hidden assets of London. Visit them. Enjoy them. But don’t mention them to too many people, or some uptight legalistic twat will get them changed. Tell us what you love about playgrounds, and what you hate, and tell us where the best toys are.
December 10th
Here’s something I hate… This website gets spammed more than a hundred times a day. Sometimes having a website is like having a lamp post which all passing dogs wee on. And most of the spamming is about sex. I’m married for God’s sake. I cannot and must not have sex, and having people talk about it is like being a vegetarian, forced to listen to people discussing succulent meat dishes. For the moment, I’m going to shut down the option to comment on sections. You can still do it, actually, you’ve just got to e-mail me, and I’ll paste them up, if they’re funny or provocative or interesting. Anyway, this is sort of in reply to The Amazing Pixielady who just wrote in. (I salute you Amazing Pixielady! it’s always a pleasure to find your pixie footprints, gamboling across my virtual world).
September 14th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Emma Says:
Oh, Andrew, you are off! What a tremendous pity. That said, when I read that you were enjoying the high life in the South of France I guessed something was up…we normally track each other well life wise (babies at similar times, you dispensed kind advice on husband management via other site) but this year we ended up in Brittany with toxic seaweed and you got the glitz. I guess the column served its purpose for you, then? Surely a ST column is establishment enough to secure you some kind of rosy future?! I for one will be clapping you on from the sidelines xxxxx
September 20th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Rach McCarthy Says:
Having just read the column in The Sunday Times on 13/9 I’m getting the feeling you’ve finished…? I hope you haven’t, though I wis you the best if you have.
Although not being a parent, in fact being ‘too young’ to be a parent, I have throughly enjoyed reading your column etc etc. as I feel it is preparing me for the craziness that is life with kids. Or at least teaching me laugh or cry lol.
Thank you for the laughs!
xxx
October 18th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
FIONA Says:
We were on holiday in September and came back to see that you had been replaced in Style by cartoons. After you didn’t reappear today a google brought me here.
We became parents in March and your weekly column as been read aloud in hushed tones in our dimmed bedroom (which we still share with baby Stan) every Sunday evening. You’ve kept us lauging and excited about this rollercoaster journey. Thank you, thank you! We’ll miss you.
And we’re so pleased your dog came back!
Xx Xx x X x
October 19th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Faye Clark Says:
I miss your column, I could not be arsed to buy The Sunday Times now. They should have given you a payrise x
December 15th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Amazing Pixielady Says:
Ok, so have you just vanished off the face of the earth? And where is the earth’s face anyway? I’ve not seen any countries looking like eyes, noses and mouths. Let us know how you’re getting on.
My daughter made me laugh this morning when she was playing James Bond with her brother. She announced with all seriousness that she was the baddie, Chocolatefinger. I just wanted to share that with like minded parents and hopefully raise a smile.
Happy Christmas and a prosperous 2010 to you and your family and to all friends of ‘Dad Rules’ xxx
January 15th, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Gavin Brown Says:
Dear Andrew
I don’t normally write in to blogs etc, but I felt compelled to let you know how uplifting and funny your column in the Sunday Times used to be. It has made me rethink how I tackle my approach to parenting and family life, which is a good thing and I suspect you have had the same effect on many others.I don’t really feel a need to buy the paper any more since you left but all is not lost, my wife is a beautiful, kind and thoughtful soul and she bought me the Dads Rules book for Christmas and it is fantastic.
Thank you,
Gavin Brown
PS We have a 12 year old Border terrier called Ruff with similar habits to your dog.
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Miss Moppet Says:
My mum used to save me the Sunday Times Style magazine and I would make a bee-line for your column. I’m devasted that you don’t do it anymore. My devastation was somewhat relieved when my mum got me your book for Christmas, so I now have a nightly dose of wonderful humour and insight.
‘Baby dump’ was one of my favourites in Style magazine. We perform baby dumps all the time with our 6 month old!
My eldest, Tilly (who is just over two) did a big poo in a field on our walk the other day. On our way home the poo had gone. Did our dog eat it?
x