a few things I love about snow
Here are a few things I love about snow…
1) The moment it’s first seen. Someone always says: “It’s snowing!” and they look astonished as if they’ve just seen Santa and he really was sledging through the sky, with a rheindeer whose nose has been used as a lamp. (How can that work? Does Santa run a wire up the snout?) The happiest people are teachers. They can’t stop themselves smiling as they announce: ”I’m afraid it’s too icy for me to come in.” It’s less good for people who work from home. They can still reach their offices, but they find them occupied by kids.
2) I love how the world goes quiet. I know it’s partly because planes are stuck at Gatwick. But I’m an environmentalist, so I also love that. When I hear the news saying “planes are cancelled and passengers are stranded” I think “Great!”
3) I love seeing people walking on ice. Legs are bent. Bums are out. It’s like they’re wearing nappies.
4) I love seeing snow falling from trees. I love seeing fat dads whizz by, on sledges made from bins.
5) I love it when kids make naughty snowmen. In our woods, I was delighted to see a huge snow cock.
6) I love watching snowmen melt. There’s one on the pavement opposite. Two days ago it was fat and proud. Now he’s lost his carrot, and he’s sliding down the wall like a drunk. He’s still looking better than the cock. Yesterday its bell end fell off, and a dog had weed on its balls.
I can’t wait to see how it’s looking today. I shall go and inspect.
Andrew x
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