Why I really left Style
The thing is it’s quite hard writing a column. I’ve got to be honest with you, there are some weeks when I don’t encounter a small animal that gets killed in a way that’s funny, but not too sick. I don’t always have a crisis which is resolved by my children being cute but weirdly wise. And by the end of those weeks, I find myself in the park, thinking: “So this is nice, but ideally I need this place invaded with farm animals.” So that’s why I stopped the column. Plus, I was sacked. OK. I wasn’t quite sacked. I just asked for more money, at a time when Style were determined to rebrand themselves and become more girly and escapist and clear, so we parted ways. I feel indebted to the lovely Style ladies, who’ve treated me well. At the same time, I want the more girly Style to fail spectacularly, and I want letters of protest to rain into the Sunday Times offices, and I want the Style ladies to beg me to return, and I want to be able to say: “I can’t… I’m moving to the Guardian Weekend to replace Tim Dowling.” That’s all I ask you to do. Write hundreds of letters, begging them to get me back. Get your kids to write them in crayon. Send flip-flops in protest. Tie your buggies to the Style gates, and sit in them, eating nothing but Calpol in protest. That’s all I ask. And if someone could also write to the Guardian. Or The Independent. Or really anyone who’ll let me print the very funny piece I did about the hamster that got caught in a hoover. In the meantime, it’s been two weeks since I last wrote a column – that’s how long it takes for them to come out – and in that time I’ve finished writing a new book called Learn Love In A Week and I’m really excited about it. It’s a page-turning comic novel about this husband who gets chucked out of his home for being grumpy, and he has to learn love to win back his wife. He discovers the secrets of love, in a series of well observed comic adventures. That sounds like a column, doesn’t it? I might have to make it Learn Love Over A Year, or maybe Over A Three Year Period, if it goes down well, and we get some good pictures. God. It’s now midnight, so I’ve not technically lived up to my intention to write a blog on Monday. Plus I must get to bed. Goodnight. Andrew x
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September 16th, 2009 at 1:24 am
Dove Says:
You’re a wonderful writer and I’m seriously going to miss the column(I’m not buying the ST anymore, solidarity), I’d throw flip flops at them but it’s their loss. A man as talented as you is not going to be short of offers.
Please blog here more often. Us Dad Rules addicts need our fix.
warmest regards,
Dove.
September 16th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Suzanne Phillimore Says:
I found this blog (via google) because I wanted to know if you were really quitting your column ?? After reading your last one I felt acutely disappointed and kind of bewildered, then I thought hold on, may be this is one of his crazy weird jokes and I’m not quite getting it ?? A friend gets the ST, I would go to his house pick up the Style supplement and turn straight to your column, every week. Recently I’ve started buying my own ST and turning straight to your column every week in the comfort of my own home. Then I turn to AA Gill’s column and it goes on from there right up to the motoring section which goes straight to recycling. Now I see it isn’t some abstruse joke I wasn’t getting the punchline for my spending pattern will be altered accordingly, AA Gill notwithstanding. Hopefully there are more savvy editors out there who won’t miss the opportunity to snap up your original, quirky and hugely enjoyable work. Thank you for all the happy reading moments you’ve given me, I for one want more!